The question was popped. You’ve got the ring. You’ve told everybody. You’re super excited about getting engaged, and your friends, family, colleagues and people you forgot you ever met are equally as excited for you. And they also have questions – lots and LOTS of questions…
Some are innocent, like ‘was it a surprise?’ or ‘did he get down on one knee?’, but some can be a little bit invasive, like asking how much the engagement ring cost or how good the stone quality is (or our personal favourite, ‘is it a real diamond?’). And guess what? It’s okay to not be okay with that! Your engagement is a special moment in your life and while these questions are usually just pure curiosity, it’s perfectly fine to not answer a question you don’t feel comfortable with.
However, negotiating these questions does require some tact. Obviously you won’t want to put a downer on all that positivity, and it’s prudent to avoid causing awkwardness or tension with people you’ll probably end up inviting to your wedding! So here are some tips to help you on your way…
Option One: Speak from the Heart
The easiest response is the one that’s the most natural. Say what you genuinely feel – something along the lines of ‘I haven’t actually thought about how much it cost/how many carats/the stone quality, I’m just so happy that we’re engaged and that I have a beautiful symbol of our future together to show for it’. Words to that effect will be pretty close to 100% accurate. At least, we hope they are or maybe you’re getting engaged for the wrong reasons!
Option Two: Explain your Choice
… But only if you feel comfortable doing so, of course. If your engagement ring doesn’t have a diamond, is smaller than what certain people expected, or has any other element that curious folk like to question, just explain the thought process behind it honestly. ‘I thought this colour/shape/size was more flattering for my hand’, ‘we wanted to spend the money on things that we feel are more important than jewellery right now’, ‘I liked this design better than anything else I saw’ – if it’s your own personal opinion, then people can’t really disagree!
Option Three: Just Change the Subject!
At the end of the day, the specifics of your engagement ring are nobody’s business but yours, your fiance’s maybe your jeweller’s. If you’re asked a question you’d rather not answer, respond by saying you’re just not really comfortable discussing it, if that’s okay. Follow it up with something like ‘why do you ask?’ (in a polite manner, of course) Maybe the person is in the middle of picking out their own ring and is looking for advice.
Either way, it’s your engagement ring and you should enjoy it. Congratulations!